Everyone around me is having the greatest times of their lives. Or good things are happening..
I feel so outside of the world now. I have this hesitant panic attack feeling swelling up in my throat and chest and I want time to stop going forward. But time won’t stop and my chest gets heavier.
I was doing so well. I was eating consistently. I was mentally positive. I was happy and I did good things.
You have shattered me. I lay in bed, losing an hour of sleep rethinking the entire situation. What was said and our reactions. Did I finally lose?
You have manipulated me. You made me cynical and made me twist his arm. I used him and I think it’s a mistake.
You both have dented me. All I want is to be alone at this point, yet one of you will not let that happen. I am forever tied to you and my own personal freedom has been shackled since I moved out.
I am not happy.
I am not even the same person I thought I was. I lost my identity. I lost my way in life. I have given up on letting down that wall I built over the years against people.
I just want to be alone. I want my choices back. I want my freedom back. I really want myself back.
I hate Egoraptor. Please stop doing everything. Everything.